Abundant, inclusive self-care
I just finished reading and absolutely loved Valarie Kaur’s remarkable memoir, See No Stranger.
Among other insights, Kaur outlines a striking vision of abundant, inclusive self-care—one that not only sustains individuals, but also nurtures the whole. For me, both personally and professionally, this is a game changer.
Kaur begins by borrowing from Thomas Merton, who wrote:
There is a pervasive form of contemporary violence to which the idealist easily succumbs: activism and overwork. … To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything, is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of our activism neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our own work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.
—Thomas Merton
She goes on to outline wisdom from a canon of Black women thinkers, writers, and activists:
Caring for myself is not an act of self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.
—Audre Lorde
I have seen that we cannot fully create effective movements for social change if individuals struggling for that change are not also self-actualized or working towards that end.
—bell hooks
If we don’t start practicing collective self-care now, there is no way to imagine, much less reach, a time of freedom.
—Angela Davis
Drawing also from the work of Lisa Anderson, adrienne marie brown, and Melissa Harris-Perry, Kaur then calls us into a new kind of self-care that actually liberates us from the very systems and institutions we seek to change.
Perhaps it is time to shift the terms from ‘self-love’ to ‘loving ourselves’…The term ‘self-care’ implies that caring for ourselves is a private, individual act, that we need only to detach ourselves from our web of relations and spend our resources on respite and pampering. …
The self-help industry profits from ‘spiritual bypassing’—the belief that we are changing the world by investing in our own spiritual wellness, even as we continue to participate in the same systems that oppress people. But we can act consciously so that our wellness does not come at the expense of others.
—Valarie Kaur
This vision propels us beyond not just self-centered wellness, but also rebellious wellness. We may claim our rest rightfully as an integrated part of our lives, not merely as an escape or stolen moment. The way we do this is by taking care of one another.
Self-care isn’t something to beg, borrow, steal, or even earn. Rather, it’s a fountain of replenishment that can—and should—be accessible to all. So…
Take what you need.
Come back when you like.
Share, and take turns.
This fountain will restore you—and everyone—until the work is done.
🖤
Photo by @sgcreative at Unsplash.