Out to Sea
Photo by Thomas Vimare on Unsplash.
It is classic bumper sticker wisdom: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
On the surface, I appreciate the idea. Look within, don’t judge others, focus on what you can control, and go do the thing. Sure, count me in.
For a long time, however, I internalized this common wisdom as “CHANGE THYSELF. Go, and be fixed, so the rest of the world will follow.” Frankly, this was wrong. Change is hard on a good day, and going about it with a need to “fix” oneself is downright dispiriting.
What’s more, meaningful change is not a box to check. It’s a process.
What I’m coming to see clearly is that it is as impactful to be the change in process as it is to be changed. In other words, the chrysalis is as beautiful as the butterfly. As much as we may wish otherwise, there typically isn’t a fast track to change; there is simply the next step, and the one after that. This applies to learning curves, health and wellness, career changes, creative growth, relationships, social movements, and pretty much everything we humans do. The important thing is not that we get it right, but that we keep showing up. I find this liberating.
So, you don’t have to do things perfectly, or all at once. Rather, the whole point is motion. Keep moving, keep learning, keep adjusting. You may make mistakes; in fact, you definitely will. It’s going to get messy, and that’s perfectly fine. When change is a process, rather than a yes/no binary, mistakes and setbacks will not be your undoing. They will simply be one day’s data, not the sum of who you are.
Beyond your personal growth, which is so important on its own terms, change as process is also fertile ground for leadership. It is much easier for people to move towards a vision when their guide is someone who accompanies them in the unruly, imperfect, uncertain, uncharted, wild waters of change—not just a saint waiting on dry land beyond. Hold your vision, trust the process, and the people right behind you (who are also in it with you) will gratefully follow your lead.
For more of my writing on change, see the drawing companion to this essay (available 2/26), along with “Unfolding” and “Order —> Disorder —> Reorder.” The chrysalis metaphor abides.